Choosing a Mentor

The first step within the Mentoring Process is choosing a Mentor. In this regard Andrew Gibbons made a great, pertinent comment that “mentors are like noses and strawberries - it's best if you pick your own”.

The key characteristics to look for when choosing your Mentor are

· The ability to work together for common purpose

· Mutual respect

· You must value the Mentor’s experience

· They must have a genuine interest in others, particularly in their learning and development

It may be useful to think in terms of the following model when identifying your Mentor, to help to think about the best possible fit.
Meetings

The next step in the process is to arrange an initial meeting to discuss and agree how the relationship will develop.

At the first meeting you will be

· Building rapport

· Agreeing ground rules

· Direction setting

· Agreeing how you will review the relationship
Building Rapport

You both set the tone for the mentoring relationship from the first time you meet or speak, so initial contact needs to be as positive as possible. If you go into the relationship believing that you are going to enjoy and benefit from the time you spend together then you probably will.
Agreeing Ground Rules

Mentoring works best when the Mentor and the Mentee have a shared understanding of their expectations and have also agreed some ground rules for success. Such ground rules may include agreement about the following:

· The mentor will not intrude in the Mentee’s personal life except by direct invitation

· Neither party will make excessive demands either in terms of time or commitment of each other

· The Mentee will not abuse the Mentor’s authority or influence without specific and prior consent

· The Mentor will assist the Mentee in achieving the agreed goals and targets but the Mentee will retain the freedom to male their own decision as appropriate
Direction Setting

The Mentor and Mentee should work together to

· Explore options and objectives for development and how they can be achieved

· Agree what actions are required from both parties

· Agree interim goals which can be achieved and also act as a motivator

· Agree measure for progress and success
Review
Reflection and review are important parts of learning which don’t always happen. You should build in some time from the beginning to reflect on what you both gain from the sessions and what is less useful to you.
Building the Mentoring Relationship

It is important that the Mentor and Mentee clarify their expectations about the mentoring relationship and ensure that both parties are in agreement. It works best when the relationship is seen and accepted by both parties as being informal, progressive and open. Mentoring relationships tend to follow a pattern of growth and development.

1. Building rapport and trust

2. Setting direction and establishing goals for the future of the relationship

3. Making progress

4. Maturity – the Mentee moves towards becoming more self-reliant and independent. Learning and support also become more equal and shared

Dos and Don’ts of Mentoring
Do

· Help raise the Mentee's spirits and aspirations

· Help the person to stand back from the problems of the moment and see work and life in a broader context

· Provide a listening ear, to allow the Mentee to ‘get things off their chest’

· Help the person to think through different options

· Provide information the Mentee may not have gained from other sources

· Give the person feedback on areas like their style, often areas where others don’t ‘bother’ to say

· Give encouragement

· Share experience

Don’ts

· Give lots of advice – you are usually too removed from a complicated situation to know what to do – help the Mentee to come up with their own answers

· Rescue them – it doesn’t help in the long term if you ‘take over’ someone else’s problems, people learn more from dealing with it themselves and have more confidence in the result
· Be judgmental and jump to conclusions